sworn to secrecy

there's a lot of stuff that i would like to share with someone...
but there's always sumthing that holds me back from doing it.

i guess im just naturally secretive. but what's pathetic is i expect them to know what i think.
that never happens.trying to come up with the right words is to say it is never easy for me. im always paranoid of wat people might think about me if i ever said anything that's out of the blue.but i try not to make them think that i care about those stuff..but honestly i do...about some stuff... not really about everything.

i admire people who tells their deepest feeling or thoughts to sumone, doesn't matter for the sake of love,friendship or clearing the air. it takes guts. sumthing i don't have a great deal of.some might refer it to one's ego.maybe it is.maybe it's not.what it is, i don't know for sure. but what's certain that thing lingers in me every now and then..

it's disturbing being who i am. but i am wat i am. accept it and get along with it. but i'm trying to be a little more open about myself to others nowadays...baby steps some people might call it.being able to say what lies in the deepest depths of my being.

that day will come sooner or later. for now i'm sworn to secrecy.